O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
