Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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