Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
