I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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