I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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