be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
