Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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