My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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