real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
