Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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