You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
