she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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