If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
