Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box

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(240): View more from Maryland

You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

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(661): View more from California

the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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(317): View more from Indiana

she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.

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(770): View more from Georgia

After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.

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