I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
