I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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