So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
