I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
