Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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