Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
