Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize