Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
