I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize