your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Bring me that man meat
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
