actually, I'm a sock model
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
