Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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