Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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