I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
