You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
