who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dicks are not precious.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
