He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my being single is dangerous.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
