So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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