When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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