It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
