he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
