my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
