Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
