Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
