Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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