The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
