Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize