Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
