You work out of a Hotel?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize