Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's always time for handjobs
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
