it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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