Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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