She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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