There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
