My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
