I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
