probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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