So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
