happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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