So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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