I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
