The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
