Buhtt sex?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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