its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
