this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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