Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
