Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
